Category Archives: baby

there is this…

OR… there WAS that…

a new baby… on the way…

soon!

offically 38 weeks, so yes, VERY soon!

ANNNND then I delivered two weeks early, of course, before i pressed publish

and so, here we are

a family of four

fam4

with two little girls

eeeep! sisters! (we didn’t find out the gender before birth)

and life feels SO full

full in the exhausting, time-flying-yet-sooo-slow, when and HOW do you grocery shop/ clean / cook / BLOG, unison crying, 7pm adult-bedtime type of FULL

BUT, also the heart-bursting, big-sister-kissing, bed-full of GIRLS in matching pjs, newborn snoozing of chest, absolute JOY type of FULL

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and just about every five minutes of the last four weeks I’ve wondered HOW DID WE GET HERE?! and THANK GOODNESS we are HERE.

i won’t shadow this post with the nitty gritty, but this pregnancy was not an easy one for me (emotionally). the dark winter i last spoke about coupled with pregnancy hormones and scary realities we know too much about made me sad and anxious. sharing the news we were expecting felt too presumptuous and even family and close friends who might not have seen us once i’d started showing were shocked and confused by a “new baby!” announcement last month. there are these things i’ve learned i don’t need to apologize or make excuses for…

and so… now…

our littlest girl is here!

eve

eve emerson

born quickly and HEALTHY on the 29th of May

emily is SO excited to have her own baby to “cuh-wool”… she is excited to tell just about anyone about “baby eve!” and rocks her seat, offers a binky from her own mouth and buries her in toys when she makes the slightest of peeps.

we are over the moon

sisters…

firstlook

wow. i am so excited for these two to have each other, forever…

forever grateful that our dear friend and amazing photographer christine chitnis was able to capture the first moments when emily met her baby sister.

blanket for my beach babe

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baby blankets.

yes, these days, they do seem to be a dime a dozen- stroller blankets, muslin lovies, craft fair creations are all favorite baby shower go-tos.

we have a pile on emily’s bedroom shelf of these gifted blankies and they just make my heart smile when i walk in the door- the stitches and mix-matched fabric, the knits and purls all made-with-love by family and friends excited to meet our girl.

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unlike my brother, whose “nahnnie” was so loved that all that remains is a few matted shreads and threads (literally! in a ziplock bag!), i was never a “blankie girl”…

 i do still have my mint green baby blanket that my mum stitched for me, with excitement, while i grew inside her.  although it wasn’t my secuirty blanket, it did come with me to boarding school, and college and now sits in that pile of emily’s beautiful blankets.

and it still has that smell. 

that comforting, bring-you-right-back smell of childhood and home…

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i’ve long dreamed of sewing baby blankets for my own babies. that first, special, made-with-love by mama gift…

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so when we discovered that we were having a girl, and a summer babe, at that, i pulled out the double-gauze mermaid fabric i’ve saved for ages.

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i paired it with a few fabrics inherited from my grama’s stash,  some favorites bought over the years at purl and a gorgeous (though INSANELY labor intensive) scallop pattern…

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it’s just perfect.

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just as i’d dreamed.

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this.

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nursing this babe
in a jumble of pillows
our bare skin
golden
in the milky early morning sun
a coolness of fall, nearly begun
and raindrops 
whispering good morning
while lulling us
back to sleep
these moments.
of motherhood
motherhood !
they are thick with joy
but they are going. too. fast.
i’m feeling desperate
to pause.
submerge.
and float around in each second.
i’ve always been
running ahead
always waiting and wanting for the next day, year, milestone…
my mum used to warn me not to “wish my life away”-
at three i was begging for kindergarten and soon after, for so long, all i wanted was to turn 30 (!)
to get married, to own a home, for babies…
but now
here i am-
a baby
our baby
deep asleep on my chest
and
life feels 
just. right.
it feels
like what i’ve been waiting 
my whole life for…
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celebrating henry

throughout this past pregnancy
i kept peaking ahead
to this month-

august
with a scramble of emotions-
love, fear, anxiety, pain, excitement
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the due date of our daughter
the anniversary of losing henry
i needed to find a way
to remember our sweet son
and the excitement i felt
on the day he was born-
the day i became a mom
in a way
that wasn’t totally 
sad
or 
scary
i needed a celebration.
to find a way to honor 
what a joy he was
in our lives
even
if it was only for just 
11 days
.
something to share 
with our family
who felt the loss of henry
almost as completely as we did
a new tradition
that our future children
would love 
so…
we planned a birthday beach night-
our favorite kind of easy summer celebration

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a sand-side picnic

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our favorite people

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mama-decorated birthday cake

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taps at sunset

and then

after the sun had gone down
we sent paper lanterns
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into the night sky

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decorated with our 
wishes + prayers
for henry patrick

on his first birthday
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and it was
a celebration

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with love and thanks
xo
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she

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emily waldo jagger
arrived thursday
august 8th
at 9:40am
oh, oh…
there is so very much to share
and i will
but i’m completely distracted
by her milky, deep-sleep sighs 
on my chest
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it’s been almost exactly a month
since i’ve posted
and it’s been a bursting one for sure-
a roller coaster 
of summer goodness
paralyzing anxiety
and love
love. love. love.
with each 
long-awaited 
deep, deep breath 
that i take
weighted only by 6lbs 12oz
of slumbering sweetness
i can feel 
my heart
being stitched 
from the bottom 
up…

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welcome
sweet birdie
welcome
xoxo

photos: orchardcove

henry

henry

thank you for all the love, care, prayers and concern over the past few weeks…
we are devastated to share that our sweet boy
henry patrick 
passed away on august 21st
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heroic henry, as we called him
fought a hard fight
but ultimately was unable to breathe on his own
we know in our hearts that he is in a much better place
and we are grateful that he is at peace

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goodness, how i miss my little love bug.
xoxo
Henry-Birth-0008

flashbulb

that’s what they call it, right?
a flashbulb moment-
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that instant
when your
life
stops
and
suspends
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when your hopes and dreams and plans
change and shatter
and
disappear

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friday, august 10th
6:33pm

i gave birth

8lbs 2oz, 21.5″
of
baby boy

blue
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after a long, but healthy pregnancy
followed by a long, but wonderful abc labor and delivery
we didn’t get our skin-to-skin and delayed cord clamping and long-dreamed-of introductions
instead
he was whisked away-
a little suction
we thought
meconium
we knew
laying
helpless
in the big recovery bed
when doctors came back
so we could “make decisions about our son”
deprived of oxygen
brain trama
seizures
cooling
now
we wait
tests 
and questions without answers
time and healing
but no plans
only prayer
my love
henry patrick waldo jagger
8.10.12
photos: amanda xoxo
LCSHower-me

showered with love

in late june
the ladies in my life
all gathered in little compton
on a glorious sunday morning
 for a most wonderful party
in honor of this little boy-to-be and me…
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we were treated to delicious food
    
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 showered with adorable gifts
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reid’s old lederhosen!
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advice was shared

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a (very appropriately-me) game played
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the cutest of cupcakes devoured
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love and laughter 
filled the day
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sisters travelled from miles and miles…

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the boys (+ nellie) took a paddle while we celebrated
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 guests left with these sweet favors
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thank you, thank you
to the greatest friends
and party planners
meredith, meggs and laurie
my cup runneth over…
xoxo
amanda snapped the photos throughout the day. 
thank you AH, i am so grateful to have these beautiful shots to remember the day!

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QCT3

boatload of baby pants

things have been hectic…
back and forth to the cape
spring cleaning and gardening
and
all things nesting
but this week
i managed to sneak into the studio
for a few hours of uninterrupted
sewing for baby
the result:
three pairs of quick change trousers
perfect for my summer beach boy
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i used a selection denise schmidt’s quilts collection of cottons from joanns
and just love how bright, funky and functional (they are all reversible!!) these pants are
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my one question/concern with the pattern/fit-

we are planning to cloth diaper 
and i’m hoping there is enough room in the bum
anyone used this pattern with a cloth diapered babe?